Triggers and Triumphs

October 27, 2025 will mark probably the most significant milestone of my life: 10 years in my sobriety.

Right now, it feels bigger even than becoming a mother—a single one, at that—to eight children. (That’s a triumph, too, but one for another day and a fuller story that I will celebrate soon enough.) Everything about the number 10 feels big, because it is. 10 is a testament. I tell myself: “it means you’ve learned how to sit with discomfort, ask for support, and keep choosing yourself.” It’s a reminder of every single choice, every hard day, and every moment of growth that got me here.

I’m not trying to say I’m invincible. I’m not. If anything, the years make the work more personal, emotional, and complex. Being in long-term recovery has taught me how sneaky alcohol addiction can be. The years change, but the triggers don’t disappear. They don’t even fade; they evolve. Early on, it’s usually about resisting the obvious, like being around alcohol at parties and bars. But as the years pass, the triggers can get more layered and emotional. Sometimes it might be stress, grief, success, loneliness—even joy—that unexpectedly stir up trouble.

For my most recent birthday, I decided to go out with my family. They took me to a bistro. We danced and partied for hours. The week had been challenging. I wasn’t really in the mood, but I went anyway. It felt great catching up with those I hadn’t seen in a while. We danced and partied for hours. I was enjoying it all until my cousin spilled his drink, a whole cup of Hennessy, on me and my blue jeans jumpsuit.

I was furious and smelling like a bottle of Hennessy. I could no longer smell the lingering scent of my Dior perfume by Rihanna. I thought it was done intentionally. That may not have been how it was, but that’s how I felt. The next morning, I did feel regretful for hanging out. My body shut down from all the dancing; keep in mind, I was dancing in 6-inch wedges. On Sundays, I usually do a lot of housework and laundry and cook a big dinner. But my aches and pains from that Saturday would not allow me to get out of bed and be productive in any way.

I’m glad my body is the only thing that crashed, not my sobriety. It would have been so easy for that moment to turn into a trigger because that’s how easy alcohol sneaks up. But after nearly 10 years, I’m far enough into my journey to understand the power of choice… not perfection, but choosing yourself over and over again.

I also chose to give the cleaning bill to my cousin. I mean, that was the least he could do for ruining my beautiful outfit.

But truthfully, I’d already walked away with the greatest gift. 10 years ago, I gave that to myself, and ultimately, it became a gift to my children, too. I chose to survive without a crutch. I started the hard work of learning how to live without a drink. The change wasn’t overnight, and it wasn’t easy. But I can say it’s been worth the work. My recovery has deepened my understanding of my worth.

Over the years, I’ve learned that the challenging moments don’t stop. Life keeps life-ing, but sobriety will sweeten the living if you let it. One year slowly turns into ten years of proof that you can build a life in which you don’t just avoid alcohol, you actually thrive without it. That’s the life I’m living and loving at this milestone moment.

About Thrive Detroit’s Tapestry Project

Thrive Detroit is proud to launch The Tapestry Project, a space where storytelling becomes a source of healing, strength, and connection. Through guided writing sessions, participants will explore their own narratives with the support of a professional writing coach and a trusted group. This project is about more than writing—it's about honoring our stories, embracing the power of perspective, and weaving together a collective tapestry of resilience and hope.